Epiphany - The Revelation of God

Time flies. It's yet another year to end the Christmas season with the culimination on the Feast of Epiphany. It is not only a big word to understand but coming to terms with it's full meaning & implication seems to take a miracle. And I'm not sure if I could ever do so in my lifetime. But 2 events that I encountered recently reminded me a little of it's meaning.

My friend, Kenneth came by to do some catching up few days back. Strangely, I always thought of him as a popular extrovert, only to be corrected that he's also quite an introvert who prefers time & space for personal reflection. I don't really know him well but was glad that this is a good start to know him. On another occasion, I caught up with another fren who used to date a lesbian. He joked that He wanted to be a Saviour to change her. But in the end, nothing worked out. Nonetheless, knowing him, I believe the real reason is 'cos he has noticed something beautiful within her. Somewhere along his daily encounter with her, he fell more for her. There must be something more about her that we don't know/see.

And I think Epiphany (The Revelation of God) is a little of both events. We need someone or something to show/tell us who God is first. How else will we know Him? And this is the reason for Christmas to culminate in Epiphany - the revelation of God, through the giving of His precious Son. Just like my friend, Kenneth who volunteered information on himself, Christ came to show us who God is, His nature & what He stood for. "To have seen me, is to have seen the Father" ~ Jn 14:9. Today, this revelation continues to come to us through the bible, the teachings of the church and not forgetting the wonderful people around us, who led by their examples. But theoretical knowledge is not enough. We are not merely reading the biography of a historical person. We need to look above & beyond what we see/know. That is what the word "contemplate" means. God is to be experienced. My second friend was able to look past the sexual orientation of the girl he liked (knowledge) to gain a deeper insight into her personality. That could only be brought about by an experience and revelation.

I often wondered what the 3 wise men saw at the stable that night when they found our baby Jesus. A simple vulnerable baby born in the most humble and forgotten place. Have they mistook the tree for the forest? What made them bow down & pay homage to this child as the King of the Jews? Reading Mt 2:11 tells us the story. It reveals only part, not the full nature of the person of Jesus. Only contemplation allows us the space & insight to look beyond what we were told to what is the truth. Only then, can we look with the eyes of the wise men that night to recognise vulnerability as power, humility as majesty, poverty as riches. And until and unless we come to terms with this, through a personal experience/conviction, can we then bring our best before Him (be it gold, frankincense or myrr).

"But they were given a warning in a dream not to go back to Herod, and returned to their own country by a different way." ~ Mt. 2: 12

May we, like the wise men, experience Christ and never go back to our old & sinful ways (Herod=culture of death). Rather, let us be constantly transformed and return back in a different way - renewed & life-giving.

Christmas - The Wait(ed) Moment

The first time I saw him was when he approached me for a $5 change. I thought he looked mentally unstable with his white hair, cross-eyed & sloppy look. The next time I saw him was when he asked me for the time of the night as he walked towards the bus stop (outside my home) which I have just alighted. Surely, this is a madman, I concluded. The third time I saw him was when he was waiting alone at the same bus stop. I was on my way home, around 8+ after a long day's work.

As I turned my head back, I realized that he was with his wife, walking with her, lovingly holding her handbag. I suddenly pieced everything together & realized that he was all along waiting for his wife to return back from work! The last time he enquired about the time was to estimate the time that his wife was returning. I can't believe that at the age of 50+, this couple could still be so loving. I was somehow touched by what I saw before me. I've heard the story of the prodigal son so many times, but this is the first time I truly FELT what the parable was all about. We have waited many times for people who are late for appointments, and we tend to remember them well (don't we?)! But we forget quite quickly the times when people waited for us. What does it feel like to be waited? Especially one where the person waited for you WITH LOVE and not annoyance? Could you pause & think (+ feel) about that for a moment? Have you ever been waited with such love (be it in a relationship) or have witnessed something like that?

As we celebrate Christmas this year, we often like to think that we (the world) are waiting for the Saviour to come. Or at least, this is what the readings & Advent reminded us. But what if, it was really the other way round? Rather God was The One, who waited for us? Waiting for us to respond to Him - to welcome Him into our ever so-busy world, a world of self-interest, consumerism? A God who waited with love for us. A white-haired God who has waited since the beginning of time for our notice, for us to pause & feel His love. Yes, in so many ways, God is like the man I've encountered. So easily he escaped my notice, gets written off by my quick judgement as a madman. Yet, if only I choose to LOOK BACK & PAUSE (to reflect), I will notice someone more beautiful than I thought - a God MADLY in love with me. Is that what we see at the scene of the Nativity?

"Better than hoping for anything from the Lord, besides His love, let us place all our hope in His love itself. This hope is as sure as God Himself. It can never be confounded. It is more than a promise of its own fulfillment. It is an effect of the very love it hopes for. It seeks charity because it has already found charity. It seeks God knowing that it has already been found by Him. It travels to Heaven realizing obscurely that it has already arrived."

~ Thomas Merton, No Man Is An Island

Christmas - Our Light of Hope

As I was taking my night flight back from Shanghai, I manage to peer through the window to take one last look at the skyline of the city. It's really beautiful. But it somehow reminded me that all this comes with a price. When I was serving my National Service in Tekong, I recalled how I often admired the numerous stars that I see in the sky. But I could only spot a few of them when I'm in mainland Singapore. Later, someone told me that our tall buildings with their night lights has lit up the sky so brightly that it made it difficult to spot any stars.

About 2000+ yrs ago, 3 wise men followed a star that led them to the child Saviour, tucked away in a manger. If this event is to happen today, will there be any star for them to follow? In a brightly lit world today, we get distracted with so many beautiful & colourful lights. Which is the true light to follow? Today, I see these lights represented as materialism, consumerism and secularism. I too, am guilty of getting distracted with the latest fashion wear, electronic gadget must-have. In this new age, many digital improvements have also demanded my attention. They range from sms, facebook, to msn & emails. All of which has left me with less & less time for myself, yet alone a proper discernment to decipher what's really important in life.

Living in Singapore all my life, I've only encountered a blackout about 2 times. It is during those times, when a simple lit candle could bring much comfort & hope to me. When all the bright lights have failed me, this simple candle light stay true by my side. A comfort to help me find my way in the darkness, a hope that everything will be restored to its original state. Yes, even in the familarity of my own house, I can get lost. Isn't this often the irony in life? We get so used to our daily routine, that we begin to accept the way things are. We stop questioning if there's a more Christian, Loving way to carry out our daily task.

The advent candles are a timely reminder to me for what they stand for. The first candle reminds me of what Christmas promises to bring - Hope, an alternative to what I have to put up with - darkness. The question is whether do I want to step out of this darkness? Just where bad news is the proven headline that brings publicity, can I be the one to herald good news? Can I be the one to make a difference in the lives of those around me?

In him was life, and the life was the light of men.
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
~ John 1 : 4-5

Involve

"If you are not part of the solution, you're part of the problem"
~ Sydney J. Harris

I think there's so much truth in the above statement. What it essentially teaches us is that when faced with a difficult situation, we got to take a stand. We cannot be bystanders and just "hope for the best". It leaves no room for indifference. I'm sure we are confronted with many of such issues in our daily lives. It may range from unjust treatment of migrant/domestic workers to gossiping of colleagues/friends.

The bible highlights this clearly in Revelation 3:15 - 16, where it speaks of those who sit on the fence. They will be spit out eventually. Too often, the Catholic Church has been branded as a sleeping giant. We adopt the waiting stance. We complain about many things but we wait for someone to act, to solve our problems. But in order for our world/church to evolve to a Christic world, it is not enough merely to revolve it round faith & prayer. We need to start getting involved. We need to get our hands dirty & start getting into action. We are not perfect and we have a long way to go. But getting personally involved is a good place to start.

I used to dream of an active & envangelical Catholic community which is the envy of many non-believers. A closely knit community whereby we all know each other because of everyone's active involvement in church ministry. An evangelical community because we are so filled with the fervour and Spirit, that we no longer remain shy or ignorant of our faith. But when will this take place? My dream seems like a far cary from current reality. Should I give it up or wait for that day to come before I contribute? Am I then part of the problem or solution?

I finally decided that my dream will not happen if I do not take the first step to plant the seed. And there's no better place to begin than to start educating & outreaching to the youths today. Hopefully they will grow up to change the world around them. Only they have the ability to lead & shape the church of tomorrow. It has been a great 10 years in youth ministry. My dream today is still nowhere in sight. I may not live to see it fulfilled. But the thought that I am involved in this plan, sometimes shudders me. On reflection, I could only say that it was divine inspiration that kept me going all these years. And it has been a beautiful journey just to be involved (via my own silly & small ways) in the grand plan of God.

Martin Luther once explained that for the Incarnation to take place, 3 miracles were needed.
1) For God to come and dwell in the human form
2) For the Saviour 's birth to come forth from a virgin
3) For Mary to consent and be part of God's salvific plan
And for him, the greatest miracle was the last one.

The smallest deed is better than the greatest intention.
~ John Burroughs

WYD Special - Pre WYD (D-7) Reflection

WHAT IS A PILGRIMAGE?

I kept asking myself, as part of my preparation for World Youth Day in Sydney. So far, I've only attended 1 pilgrimage to Israel last yr. As I reflected back on my experience last yr, 1 particular incident striked me deeply.

On the 3rd day of our pilgrimage in Israel last Mar, our spiritual director noticed how our group was mixing in their cliques. Majority of the pilgrims were from the parish of IHM, with a few couples from other parish/country. Naturally, a few of them felt left out, esp. during meal times. Our SD shared this with us : Every time he comes to visit the place of Bethlehem, he recalls the birth of our Lord Jesus. When it was time for Mary to give birth, many inn-keepers rejected her & Joseph. They simply have no rooms left. Our Lord & Saviour came to dwell among us, only to be rejected. As a pilgrim group, we come now, united as a body of Christ. We are no longer divided by race, nationality or parish. We should learn to open our hearts to welcome others as how we would like to embrace Jesus during this pilgrimage. This strikes many of us as we heard him share the story.

So, what is a pilgrimage? Is it about a destination? Is traveling to Sydney considered a pilgrimage? As I search deeper, I come to this understanding : it is about a spiritual journey - an inward journey to the "inn of my heart". Ultimately, I need to make space to receive Jesus. And to do so, I need to recognise the vehicles that carry him. 2000yrs ago, he came via Mary & Joseph. Today, He comes in the presence of the fellow pilgrims that I will journey in Sydney. To prepare for my trip, I realized that there are many things I need to pack. Many things to squeeze into my bags. But as I packed the many thick piles of clothes into my backpack, I cannot help but to be mindful to keep some space within them. A space for the most essential things that I must bring along for this pilgrimage : love, embrace, and our Lord Jesus.

"My prayer for this pilgrimage is to be a more caring & loving friend & group leader. That the people around me will be my way of encountering Christ. They will be my catechesis. Should I fail in any way to be Christ-like, may they be Christ to me in their gracious mercy & love. May I find strength in their love. Amen."

Where Is the Love?

Reading the newspaper article recently made me wonder what the world has become. I believe this is the 5th case that I read so far about another teenager opening fire in his campus within a year! What actually happened? Was it his upbringing? Or has life been undervalued & taken for granted? One wonders if it was the immense pressure within the killer, the rejection and/or abuse that he faced that contributed to this senseless & cold blooded shooting. It’s almost as if an invisible, pervasive & uncontrollable force overwhelmed him that day & dragged him out for a murder spree.

When reports like these surfaced before you repeatedly, I cannot help but wonder if evil has triumphed & goodness forgotten. It reminded me immediately about the parable of the wheat vs weeds. The parable did not answer why the weeds were allowed to grow together with the wheat but it pointed us to the final result – the wheat will be gathered while the weeds will be uprooted & thrown out. This morning, like similar ones that I have witnessed previously, I am once again reminded of the goodness that continues to exist. While commuting in a crowded train to work, I witnessed a young lady giving up her seat to a pregnant woman. It is little daily actions like these that reminded me that goodness, with her soft, unnoticed, little voice, still prevails. For every bad report publicised in the media, there are probably 10 other good deeds that have gone unnoticed.

There are often a few theories when it comes to Christ's Incarnation. Some believed that there's so much stuborn-ness & irreparable evil/damage in the world that God has to activate His Plan B - to send His only Son to earth to redeem us. Another advocated that God made the world and proclaimed that "it was good" (Genesis). It was so good that He has to come & dwell in His creation, to live among them, to proclaim His kingdom is in their midst. um...let us pause & entertain this thought for a moment. Is it far-fetched? Can we accept this as a possibility and truth? The kingdom is already here?! It's within & with-out us. I only need to see & realise that. And the scary sequeal to it, is this : I got to start living/behaving like I am in the kingdom! Christ came to show us how to start living - in every literal sense. To give us life to the fullest. And I am capable of every good/bad deed. Every day, I'm challenged to be the herald of good/bad news. The kingdom of God begins with me. The choice is mine to make.

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

~ Anne Frank

The Pulley Principle

“You do know how the train function, right?” my colleague who doubled up as my Penang tour guide, asked me.

“Don’t they all work the same way?” I replied her with the usual dumbfounded look.

"How unusual can one of the oldest train in Penang be?" i thought to myself.

I learned that this was the primary mode of transport that ferried the British people (during the early settlement) up the Penang Hill (which is about 833m above ground) in the 19th century. It was much more cooling staying up in the Hill.

“Well, it works on the same principle as the pulley. When one train comes down, it actually “pulls up” the other train in the opposite tracks. That’s how they work”, my friend explained.

“Amazing…” I thought to myself. Leveraging on the strength of the other! For once, an “opposing force” is to be appreciated and not reckoned.

As I took the train down Penang Hill, memories of my days in church ministry came flooding back. Back then, being in a role that is accountable for the survival & purposefulness of the ministry, it is my upmost concern to ensure that members give their best to God – i.e. they need to give their 100% (or rather. 101%) commitment to the ministry. I spent little time trying to understand those who could not. I would often write them off as uncommitted (or not quite ready to serve yet) or confused (i.e. this was not the ministry for them). And then when attendance dips, which resulted in the stretch in manpower (esp. in service projects), I begin to wonder what went wrong. Were the members too young/immature for responsibility?

But it began to get clearer now as I sat in the train, while watching another train come up. For people to be able to realise their potential, they need support & encouragement. Someone has got to “come down” so that they can “go up”. What is needed is the journey down to understand the other party – to be compassionate – to lend support. When that happens, we need not worry about what instructions or advice to give. By the same principle of the pulley, in so coming down, we would have already helped the other party to begin their ascent upwards (be it consciously or sub-consciously). What was lacking in me, was the journey down – to be with that person. Often times, the Lord remain with His people, despite their hurts & brokenness. HE allowed them the time & space to be where they are. Even if they come or remain with their anger, unforgiveness, sinfulness, they were all welcomed & understood. But once they soak up His love for them, that is when they start to change and to draw towards Him.

Perhaps this is the wisdom of the Incarnation hidden from our ever high & lofty eyes. God knew that for us to ascend to Him, He needs to first come down & reach out to us. So, the next time that i expect someone to be as committed or loving as myself, i need to suspend that pre-judgmental thought in my mind & apply the “The Pulley Principle”. Looking back at the amount of time spent in serving the church, I also knew that all this could not have been possible had it not been for the quiet but essential support from my family & friends. Had my mother not helped me in my weekly laundry etc, I’m most certain that part of my time would be spent on houshold chores. i would not be able to give as much as I could. They have indeed come down to my aid, so that i may rise beyond myself to reach out to the those around me.

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them."

~ Thomas Merton

Epiphany

I used to make a checklist of things to do whenever I take my annual leave. This include : reading a book by the beach or the Botanical Gardens, doing my shopping for the latest clothes/books etc. However, I always end up staying at home to be the playmate for my 2 yr old niece. : (

After having done that a few times in early 2007, I hesitated & wondered why my precious leave was spent so unproductively. I wanted to do many things & yet nothing was accomplished. I seem to be wasting time with her, playing some childish games that she likes to amuse herself. (e.g. pretending that we are driving to a goat farm, cooking some hamburgers/hot dogs for her stuff toys). Yes…what is a 34 yr old uncle like me doing? I really think I got to put a stop to all this silly, wasted…

But then, ...wait a minute! If there’s anything that I learn from this experience, it will be the realization that I am not really far away from the behaviour of a child. Though my niece would long for my companionship (here & now), I’m pretty sure she’ll grow up one day, forgetting this play time that we spent together. And in many ways, haven’t I already forgotten the many beautiful moments that I spent with my loving Father? Like a child, I will never be able to fully “repay” the moments spent together.

God is constantly “wasting” His time with me. Like the Prodigal (aka lavish) Father, He’s eager for my company. Just as it didn’t matter to me that my niece should recall the times we had together.. God only asks that I enjoy the moment – Being together WITH HIM. He does not ask that I repay Him nor comprehend what all this may mean. It’s a gift that I can only accept & savour. It’s too great a gift for me to understand it’s immense sacrifice & mystery. Perhaps, this is what the Epiphany is all about. What did the magi see in this vulnerable baby Jesus for them to pay him homage as the King of the Jews? Was it blind faith, or divine wisdom that allowed them to see Him beyond the guise of a child?

It’s ironic how a child would cling onto you in their early years, only to crave for independence in their adolescence. In so many ways, so has my spiritual journey been. In the beginning, I crave for His presence & loving touch. But once things begin to go my way, I seem to forget about Him & to start craving for my own independence. Like the 3 Magi, I need this epiphany every now & then. To know & accept that i will forever be a child in the eyes of my loving Father.

PS : This entry is dedicated to my little newphew, Brandon on his baptism on the feastday of the Epiphany (6 Jan 2008). May you grow in the wisdom & love of our Lord Jesus. May you always remain like a child before the presence of our Loving Father.

My Blessing Cup

2 of the most popular questions which you cannot avoid during this festive season are :
1) How was your Christmas/New Year?
2) So, how did you spend your Christmas/New Year?

And the taboo is to mention that you spend it at home. This answer will surely evoke a frown on the other party's face, esp. if you are single without kids.

But to be honest, this is the first time that i'm spending both my Christmas & New Year at home since my early childhood/teens. I think age must be catching up cos i didn't feel like a loser. In fact, i totally enjoy this precious time by myself, for myself! For me, the last memorable New Year that i spent was about 2 years back when we did a P&W (led by Angel & Matt) at one of my friend's (Mervin Prakash) place. We paused & reflected on what we wanted to thank God for & then continue the countdown with a P&W.

I think I have been so used to rushing through the year that I often forget to pause & reflect about what has happened. Where was God in my life? Before I bid farewell to 2007, I wanted to recall 10 things which I wanted to thank the Lord. um... but this is quite a struggle (this is an obvious indication of my unreflected life). So, let me try :

1) Serangoon Youth District Rally in Feb (for meeting all the wonderful & capable youths in the serangoon district who have put together this wonderful & evangelical rally. It was a miracle to see all our youths united in the serangoon district)
2) The birth of my nephew, Brandon in Mar - the latest addition in the family (who has brought along so much joy!)
3) Opportunity to make a pilgrimage to Israel in Mar (I was able to journey with wonderful people from the Church of IHM in the footsteps of Christ)
4) Finding a nice occupant to rent out my old house (although it was slightly below market rate) Thank God for the arrangement. Everything just happened so quickly. We found a tenant within 1 month & had to move out all our things within the same timing!
5) The grace to meet my spiritual director - Fr. Vince Hurley for a 30 week Ignatian retreat to build up my prayer life
6) The opportunity to relinquish my role as Adult Advisor in Zion's Joy group. Since then, I think it was a humbling period for me to steer away from session (and becoming proud) and to build up on my spiritual life instead
7) The friendship of my great friend, the late Colin Kang. Thank you for teaching me on what living life to the fullest meant & for making a difference even in your workplace, family & church
8) All the nice colleagues at work, which make the work place a bearable place to be in and one that permits work-life balance
9) The grace to be able to attend many wonderful sessions organized by SPI & ACCS (3 GOD sessions, Kingdom of God, Leviticus/Bk of Numbers, Retreat by SACCRE)
10) The many people in IHM YM, esp those in ZJ, whom I have worked with. You people are SAINTS! I wonder how you were able to be so patient with me despite my many faults.

Lord, thank you for the abundant blessing that you have showered upon me in 2007 (they are more than I could ever know or remember). Not all experiences have resulted in joy, but each one allows me to see you working more clearly in my life. With this, I am confident that I can entrust my 2008 to you. Allow me, Lord, to be excited about what you will do in my life (for me). Give me the grace to be faithful & to co-operate with you.

So, goodbye 2007 & Welcome 2008!

How to Choose a Gift?

On Christmas this year, we had a new domestic helper who joined us 3 months back. We arranged for her to make a call back home in the Philippines to enquire about the well-being of her family. But to our dismay, the call only brought back sad response as she listened to the heart-wrenching words of her child (2-yr-old son) – pining for his mother to be with him.

This is something which I can empathize. It’s not an easy choice for my domestic helper. It’s a tough choice of providing for what her family wants vs what her family needs. Her children wanted their mother to be with them this Christmas but they also needed the financial support, which drove her to Singapore for work. And sometimes this line is not very clear. Perhaps, her children also equally needed her motherly love. But I’m quite clear that she has answered the call to, what she must have thought, was the needs of her family. She must have struggled in her choice before she made the decision to come to Singapore.

Just few days back, I faced a similar (and perhaps less serious) scenario. I have to decide on what to get for my Godson as a Christmas gift. I’m tempted to get him a nice tee which I spotted from Celio vs a 12 month subscription of Catholic Digest (oh boy!), which I hope will help put him back in his spiritual footing. Clearly, the tee (which I really liked a lot), would have put me in a more appreciated & remembered role as the giver vs a boring reading gift which requires efforts on the part of the recipient. Sigh…it’s such a dilemma. It would have also been easier on my part to shop for the tee, since I was in town the other day. I could pay off instantly & leave the shop with the gift OR I would have to write a cheque and find a postage stamp to post off the subscription. But at the end of the day, I think the gift betrays the intention of the giver. Does the gift throw back the focus on the giver or the recipient? Is it about my popularity or about my godson?

Few thousand years ago, our Lord Jesus was once thought as the liberator, the awaited Messiah who was to deliver the Jewish people. At the peak of his popularity, they wanted to make Him King to overthrow the Roman empire. I’m sure our Lord must have been tempted too. In all 3 classic temptations of our Lord, prior to the start of His ministry, the devil presents a shortcut to redeeming the world. All 3 would have fulfilled the goal of our Saviour but done in the way of the Devil. They would definitely have been a less painful path for our Lord. Yet, our Lord chose the road less traveled and made the choice to carry His cross. If not for Him, I would not have known the way to live, love, to suffer & eventually die. He has shown us the Way, the Truth & the Life. And it’s all that made the difference. His birth could have been in a palace but He chose to be born, rejected in a cold manger. In His lifetime, our Lord lived & ministered among His people, especially among the poor. He came to give hope & love to His people. He came to give what was needed, and not what was wanted.

"Thank you Lord, for all the choices that you made. 'Cos each choice that you took along the way, you only thought of us - the recipient."

So, the next time that you are about to get a gift for someone, do stop & question. Do they really need this?

ROAD LESS TRAVELED

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken
US poet (1874 - 1963)

The Christmas Gift

I thought long & hard about what I should get for my Lord this Christmas. Somehow this thought kept me up for a few hours recently. I thought about how I should make this Christmas different from my previous years.

a)should I donate to the poor, the one busking/begging on the streets?
b)Or reach out to those who have strayed away or become inactive Catholics?
c)Perhaps I can share my faith with a non-Catholic this Christmas & get someone to join RCIA/RCIY?

The list goes on about the many possibilities. It’s almost like counting sheep. Only thing is that this kept me wide awake rather than help me fall asleep! And then, a soft prompting suddenly came upon me about the origin & purpose of Christmas. The focus is not so much about the Lord, as it is about ME.

I am the purpose why He’s even here in the first place. I am the reason for his birth, his life, death & resurrection. His birth is but only a reminder of what He has started & is continuing to do in my life. Everything about God is first & foremost about ME.

What resulted next is this sudden appreciation (no pun intended) of myself & of my worth in the eyes of God. I felt loved & precious. Even though there’s much focus on the spiritual prep of oneself (in this period of Advent) on the coming of Christ, but I think I need to focus first & foremost on that fundamental motive – that i'm loved, not forgotten.

Yes, I have heard it preached so many times. But there’s no other way to package this Christmas gift. It’s as simple & truthful as it can get. Nothing fanciful. Some 2000 yrs ago, as the world is in slumber, a miracle happened in the ordinariness of the night. This year, I plan to sit by my balcony on Christmas night, sipping my cup of hot chocolate and reflecting on this taken-for-granted & yet miraculous truth. Perhaps I need to strip away the din of the merry-making + all the packaging and to focus on the ordinariness and unnoticed CHRISTMAS GIFT that has been with me all this while. Maybe then, I will be able to hear the affirming voice that once said:

Since I regard you as precious, since you are honoured and I love you, I therefore give people (including Jesus) in exchange for you, and nations in return for your life.” ~ Isaiah 43:4

Oh…and my gift for the King? I guess, nothing delights the giver more than a deep appreciation from the recipient. There is nothing that my small little gift could come close to this tremendous treasure that He has given. Yes, the focus has shifted from my gift to THE GIFT that Christ has given me.

I could only bow down & pay my homage in this "silent night" to come. “Thank you, Lord for coming down to me. May our encounter enable me & the magi, to take a different route home. May we be, never the same again."


"What can we give that You have not given
What do we have that is not already Yours
All we possess are these lives we're living
And that's what we give to You Lord"

~ Bridge, from the song "I Offer My Life"