On Being Unique

Would you ever want to look, think or behave exactly like someone else? Well, even twins will shirk at this remote idea.

A chat over dinner with one of my colleagues (who happened to have a twin sister), revealed this surprising finding. She continued to lash at those who mistook her for her sister. From the conversation, I could sense her strong desire to want to differentiate herself.

And I can totally empathize her for feeling that way. Isn’t that one of the reasons why people protest against human cloning? We are made unique – each & every one of us. There’s no one in this world who could ever replace me or anyone else for that matter. Yet, with this beauty of being unique, also comes one’s fair share of pain & suffering. Being unique is a double-edged sword. Just as we are unique, it also brings along the difficulty & pain of understanding one another. The way we think, behave & love is different. Strangely so, but this is also the reason why we have so many psychological models & theories to try explain or grasp the human mentality & behaviour. Yet, till date, there has never been a complete or proven model that works consistently. So, the next time that you want to lament at God, for a broken relationship or hurtful insult from someone close to you, then what you are really demanding from Him : is to take away this special gift of being unique. Because this is essentially the price we all pay for being unique. And this is something that we are still coming to terms with. That we can NEVER change someone to be like us - to reciprocate what we gave or to accommodate us.

But God does not allow the same thing that happened in the Tower of Babel to repeat in us. As such, He sent us himself – Jesus. Jesus came to unite us. He becomes the answer :
1) The Life : That love can be the common DNA/chromosome that we all share despite our uniqueness.
2) The Way : That despite our uniqueness, help is on the way. A formula has been derived. We only need to follow it. We can all grow closer (similar) to one another as we model after a common personality – that of Jesus Christ. Jesus Himself also strive to be like the Father throughout His entire life. He lives out the will of the Father. And He clearly says so in John 14 v 9 : “He who has seen me has seen the Father”
3) The Truth : It CAN be done. God Himself took the initiative. He does not need to CHANGE us : to get us to reciprocate or to accomodate Him. If anything, we ourselves must & want to do so. The response must come from us. It is US who wants to change.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love.
~ Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi

GEM

GEM seems to be the recent buzz word in the retail sector which I work for. In this modern & present age, not only has our economy been growing, but so has our appetite for service, quality & speed. Thus came the GEM (aka Go the Extra Mile) program – an initiative coined by the Singapore government to woo tourists in the retail sector.

However, a recent lunch at one of the restaurants in PS with the present ZJ core team seemed to reflect otherwise. The first thing that I notice when we sat down was the waitress who was serving us. Apparently she had difficulty understanding us when she took our order. This is understandably so since she seem to come from China as by the sound of her accent.

15min into our conversation, our food came – an order of 5 full main sets. What irked me was the way she served our food. She simply passed the plates to the one sitting at the edge of the table & expected us to pass our food down the table ourselves! It is ironic how after slapping us with service tax, we ended up serving ourselves! (PS : This restaurant used to have a self-service policy which explained why they do not charge for service fee) Talk about service!

Later as we were about to walk out from the restaurant, she stood by the narrow walkway, obstructing our passage. As this happen, my eyes began to roll. I walked past her, had a good look at her & was about to lash out my resentment about her. But the image that registered in my mind seemed to be that of a desperate China gal who is here to study and to earn some part-time income to supplement the high tuition fee.

For most part of my meal time I was only centered on my expectation of service par excellence. I have failed to look beyond her job title, her nationality to recognize that she is a fellow sister in need of my understanding & support. It is both scary & yet painfully true about my lack of empathy towards these foreign workers. I often look disinterestedly at the articles in the CN about the church’s needs to embrace foreign & migrant workers. Today, this impassiveness has infected my soul to display this lack of compassion. As much as I have lashed out against social injustice & discrimination, but I guess there’s still a Pharisee within me.

This Lenten period, I’m reminded once again to look at people around me through the eyes of Jesus. The passage during the recent Sun’s gospel reading of the Samaritan woman reminded me of Jesus’s approach to people. He looked beyond their culture, nationality, taboo, sinfulness & appearances to who they really are deep within – precious GEMs. That was the difference that changed the world and that is all that matters this day. And the ROI (return on investment) that resulted – a converted town!

"We are so obsessed with doing that we have no time and no imagination left for being. As a result, men are valued not for what they are but for what they do or what they have - for their usefulness"

~ Thomas Merton