Revolve

The recent financial crisis seems to rock the world of it's conventional and proven methodology. What used to be "secure" or "safe" deposit suddenly doesn't hold fast anymore. What used to be leading companies turned bankrupt overnight, billionaires became paupers and top management find themselves without jobs. "What has happened to our investments?" - became the talk-of-the-town.

I read with interest at one of the articles in "My Paper" this morning. The writer shared on his investments in life - family & friends. It was an unexpected reminder from the usual financial forecast on the outlook of the economy, industry and fund performance. I started to sit back & ask myself "what were my "investments" for the year 2008? What were my ROI (return on investment)? It has always been said that no dying man will ever list down his regret in life as "not spending enough time at work". But ironically, we revolve our world around career advancement & money-making. I still remember an activity that I used to do - shading on a pie chart (that represent the 24hrs of a day), the time "invested" on the various activities on a typical day in my life. As you have guessed it correctly, I spent the most hours on activities that are deemed the least important.

This year however, I was quite satisified on my "investments". I managed to come home a little earlier from work to play with my nephew & niece. Spending time watching them grow up is my "star" investment - something which will never come by again. Without a ministry this year, I also ended up spending time reaching out to friends & ex-ministry members. I'm rather surprised at this unexpected ROI - knowing them on a deeper level than I previously did when I was in ministry. It is likely that I will stick to this "investment strategy" for the next year. My world will continue to revolve around people.

This was the same strategy that Christ took when He chose the hopeless 12 apostles to be his missionaries. Did He have a Plan B? Nope. And I think that's when the world's first "trust" fund started. It was based on the trust of a solid foundation - the goodness within humankind, created in the blueprint of God's image & likeness. Are we bold enough to revolve our lives on this trust?

"The root of Christian love is not the will to love, but the faith that one is loved"

~ Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation

Evolve

I think one of the criteria we can use to gauge the level of development in a country is the emphasis given to the local arts scene. Looking back at the progress of Singapore, I am a living witness to our country's development, from emphasis on public infrastructure to economic stability and the recent establishment of a local Sports & Arts School.

Looking on a more macro level, how has our world developed? With 15 billion years of evolution, the world today continues to evolve, whether we like it or not. And so, it pays for us to spend some time asking ourselves : how have we evolved and towards what or where are we evolving?What is the benchmark that we should use as a gauge of our evolution?

The current book that I'm reading "The Humility of God ~ A Franciscan Perspective" by Sr. Ilia Delio, seems to suggest some insight. "There is only one Word of God and that Word spoken in history is Christ. God creates with a view toward Christ because Christ is the goal of creation, the object of God's love from all eternity. When we understand that Christ gives meaning and purpose to creation, we see that Incarnation is more than about ridding us of sins. As Zachary Hayes writes, Christ is not an afterthought on the part of God. Rather, God's primary purpose for becoming Incarnate is grounded in the divine desire to love, to be our beginning and our end, to be "God with us," in order that we might dwell in the presence of the divine. In this way, Christ is not an intrusion into an otherwise evolutionary universe. Rather, the whole process of evolution points to Christ. Margaret Pirkl indicates that the universe is an external emodiment of the inner Word of God; thus there is something incarnational throughout the whole creation. In the Incarnation itself there is a perfect fit between Christ and creation because everything has been made to resemble Christ."

I take consolation in what I read above. Knowing where I originated - created in the image & likeness of God. Christ was God's first thought. And because all things came into being through the Word, I bear the blueprint of Christ. Along life's journey, I'm now reassured that I'm not alone. I was not created & forgotten but that through the history of time, God Himself became Incarnated, to enter into my world, to remind - that He is with us. And finally, I'm given a glimpse of where I'm heading - the goal of becoming Christ to all. Yes, this is essentially where my evolution will take me. Each of us has the potential to be Christ whenever we reach out to hear the goodness within our hearts and to live them out in our actions.

Isn't this a nice thought for a change? We often thought of the world in 2080 as one with digitial, robotic, hi-tec accomplishment. We seem to be so caught up with efficiency & science that we neglect the moral & spiritual aspects of our well-being. How about a world evolving to become more loving, caring and forgiving? What's the point of a pro-longed life span (aided by the advancement of science) with a deformed soul? Could we still consider this as evolution?

"God utters each one of us as a little word, as a partial thought of Himself. That is why when the Word became flesh, there was a real "fit" between the divine nature and created human nature to receive the divine Word. From the "beginning," creation has had the capacity to receive God into it because it is a finite expression of the infinite Word of God."

~ Sr Ilia Delio, The Humility of God

Loneliness & Longing

Beware of young people who will walk up to you for a chat. They will pretend to practice their English with you and ask you out for a drink. The bill will then come up to an exorbitant amount, of which they will feign surprise. Yes...this is what the guidebook for Shanghai warned me. True enough, I had a few encounters of these in Shanghai during my recent business trip. They range from pimps, callgals to innocent youths, who attempted to chat, or rather con me.

What gave me away (my identity as a tourist) would probably be the occasional map reference & photo-taking. Whipping out my map and camera will definitely draw unwanted attention from con artistes. When alerted, their role is to confuse/con us. My recent experience reminded me that these "harassment" happened when they knew that I was alone. Perhaps this is the time when one is often forced to confront the harsh needs/emptiness within, and to search for that solution. Some people call these desires, "longing". They can be understood after a lifetime of reflection as something deeper within, which St. Augustine was most commonly quoted "our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee". Or, they can be mistaken "myopically" for the most convenient substitutes. It is not surprising that during these moments of struggles within, these "forbidden fruits" will suddenly present themselves attractively before you. They can come in many forms such as Internet Gaming, Clubbing, Drugs, Phone/Internet Chats/Surfing, TV/Movie Watching, Shopping and the list goes on. Loneliness and longing are neither good nor bad. But how do we confront them? Where do they leave us? Do we use them as excuses to find quick substitutes to numb the pain or do we see them as opportunities for private time in our personal introspection & development?

When these incessant harassments kept coming in a row, I really wished I was in the company of friends in Shanghai. The need to "lay low" and being on the constant look-out for these "predators" are simply nerve wrecking. Maybe the same can be said of my Christian journey - the importance of journeying together in a community. There's a need for us to rely on each other as companions, as "look-outs". During my journey to the various destination spots in Shanghai, my map & camera remain the most important tools. The map allowed me to orientate myself, keeping me in check. My camera allowed me to seize the moment in time, for future introspection & contemplation. Though these are the same tools that attracted the unwanted harassment but they are crucial in my journey. It would be silly of me to give up the fruits/joys to enjoy the scenic spots because of these slight distractions. I just need to remain firm & overcome them when they come along.

In my Christian living, I have come to terms that I can never eradicate loneliness and temptations along the journey. They present as opportunities to be in touch with a deeper longing within or short term desire for quick-fix solutions. The strive to my heavenly home will need my bible (map) and prayer (camera). But using these 2 tools often warrant the initial struggle to fight off distractions (be it internal or external). Many give up for fear of attracting/fighting off the distractions. But they remain essential if I were to get to my destination. Looking back at my journey thus far, I definitely couldn't have made it, had it not been for the company of friends who aided me to fight off the many "predators" and who provided a lamp unto my feet. So, let's not forget all these tools and experiences on our lives' journey.

Loneliness and longing take us beyond ourselves.
Thomas Aquinas once taught that we can attain something in one of two ways: through possession or through desire.
To quote Karl Rahner, only in the torment of the insufficiency of everything attainable do we know that we are more than the limits of our bodies, our present relationships, our jobs, our achievements and the concrete situations within which we live, work and die.

Loneliness and longing let us touch, through desire, God's ultimate design for us. In our longing, the mystics tell us, we intuit the kingdom of God. What that means is that in our desires we sense the deeper blueprint for things. And what is that?

Scripture tells us that the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, of simple bodily pleasure, but a coming together in justice, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Ultimately, that is what we ache for in our loneliness and longing: consummation, oneness, intimacy, completeness, harmony, peace and justice.

~ Fr. Ronald Rolheiser