How to Choose a Gift?

On Christmas this year, we had a new domestic helper who joined us 3 months back. We arranged for her to make a call back home in the Philippines to enquire about the well-being of her family. But to our dismay, the call only brought back sad response as she listened to the heart-wrenching words of her child (2-yr-old son) – pining for his mother to be with him.

This is something which I can empathize. It’s not an easy choice for my domestic helper. It’s a tough choice of providing for what her family wants vs what her family needs. Her children wanted their mother to be with them this Christmas but they also needed the financial support, which drove her to Singapore for work. And sometimes this line is not very clear. Perhaps, her children also equally needed her motherly love. But I’m quite clear that she has answered the call to, what she must have thought, was the needs of her family. She must have struggled in her choice before she made the decision to come to Singapore.

Just few days back, I faced a similar (and perhaps less serious) scenario. I have to decide on what to get for my Godson as a Christmas gift. I’m tempted to get him a nice tee which I spotted from Celio vs a 12 month subscription of Catholic Digest (oh boy!), which I hope will help put him back in his spiritual footing. Clearly, the tee (which I really liked a lot), would have put me in a more appreciated & remembered role as the giver vs a boring reading gift which requires efforts on the part of the recipient. Sigh…it’s such a dilemma. It would have also been easier on my part to shop for the tee, since I was in town the other day. I could pay off instantly & leave the shop with the gift OR I would have to write a cheque and find a postage stamp to post off the subscription. But at the end of the day, I think the gift betrays the intention of the giver. Does the gift throw back the focus on the giver or the recipient? Is it about my popularity or about my godson?

Few thousand years ago, our Lord Jesus was once thought as the liberator, the awaited Messiah who was to deliver the Jewish people. At the peak of his popularity, they wanted to make Him King to overthrow the Roman empire. I’m sure our Lord must have been tempted too. In all 3 classic temptations of our Lord, prior to the start of His ministry, the devil presents a shortcut to redeeming the world. All 3 would have fulfilled the goal of our Saviour but done in the way of the Devil. They would definitely have been a less painful path for our Lord. Yet, our Lord chose the road less traveled and made the choice to carry His cross. If not for Him, I would not have known the way to live, love, to suffer & eventually die. He has shown us the Way, the Truth & the Life. And it’s all that made the difference. His birth could have been in a palace but He chose to be born, rejected in a cold manger. In His lifetime, our Lord lived & ministered among His people, especially among the poor. He came to give hope & love to His people. He came to give what was needed, and not what was wanted.

"Thank you Lord, for all the choices that you made. 'Cos each choice that you took along the way, you only thought of us - the recipient."

So, the next time that you are about to get a gift for someone, do stop & question. Do they really need this?

ROAD LESS TRAVELED

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken
US poet (1874 - 1963)