Epiphany

I used to make a checklist of things to do whenever I take my annual leave. This include : reading a book by the beach or the Botanical Gardens, doing my shopping for the latest clothes/books etc. However, I always end up staying at home to be the playmate for my 2 yr old niece. : (

After having done that a few times in early 2007, I hesitated & wondered why my precious leave was spent so unproductively. I wanted to do many things & yet nothing was accomplished. I seem to be wasting time with her, playing some childish games that she likes to amuse herself. (e.g. pretending that we are driving to a goat farm, cooking some hamburgers/hot dogs for her stuff toys). Yes…what is a 34 yr old uncle like me doing? I really think I got to put a stop to all this silly, wasted…

But then, ...wait a minute! If there’s anything that I learn from this experience, it will be the realization that I am not really far away from the behaviour of a child. Though my niece would long for my companionship (here & now), I’m pretty sure she’ll grow up one day, forgetting this play time that we spent together. And in many ways, haven’t I already forgotten the many beautiful moments that I spent with my loving Father? Like a child, I will never be able to fully “repay” the moments spent together.

God is constantly “wasting” His time with me. Like the Prodigal (aka lavish) Father, He’s eager for my company. Just as it didn’t matter to me that my niece should recall the times we had together.. God only asks that I enjoy the moment – Being together WITH HIM. He does not ask that I repay Him nor comprehend what all this may mean. It’s a gift that I can only accept & savour. It’s too great a gift for me to understand it’s immense sacrifice & mystery. Perhaps, this is what the Epiphany is all about. What did the magi see in this vulnerable baby Jesus for them to pay him homage as the King of the Jews? Was it blind faith, or divine wisdom that allowed them to see Him beyond the guise of a child?

It’s ironic how a child would cling onto you in their early years, only to crave for independence in their adolescence. In so many ways, so has my spiritual journey been. In the beginning, I crave for His presence & loving touch. But once things begin to go my way, I seem to forget about Him & to start craving for my own independence. Like the 3 Magi, I need this epiphany every now & then. To know & accept that i will forever be a child in the eyes of my loving Father.

PS : This entry is dedicated to my little newphew, Brandon on his baptism on the feastday of the Epiphany (6 Jan 2008). May you grow in the wisdom & love of our Lord Jesus. May you always remain like a child before the presence of our Loving Father.