WYD Special - WYD (D+3) Reflection

Keeping Awake

This has got to be one of my worst day for the entire WYD experience. I'm beginning to feel the fatigue & soreness in my throat. Yup, a flu is definitely brewing up. I need to get some rest if I were to continue with my journey. It will only get worse tomorrow, esp with the overnight vigil at Randwick. It's going to be cold. And if I don't get enough rest today to build my immunity, I will definitely be down & out by tomorrow.

Thus, I decided to stay in today instead of joining my WYD group for the Stations of The Cross. After taking a 2hr nap in the afternoon, I went down to re-unite with them for an evening concert. That night, I learned that my group had a wonderful experience at the Stations, in St. Mary's Cathedral. They were able to pray with the Stations since they were well executed (with live actors re-enacting the whole scene). Most commented that they were touched by the acting, esp. the role of Jesus, who was stripped bare chested, facing the cold winter winds. In addition to that, my group also had the opportunity of coming upclose & personal with the Pope. He was only 30m away, when he came out to give the blessing to the pilgrims!

At this, my heart sank. I wished I was also present. If only, I hadn't given in to my temptation to sleep. *Sigh* Yes, I'm once again reminded of the scene in the Garden of Gethsamane. The Lord must have wanted to reveal/pass down his last words to the 3 close apostles whom he has taken with him. They often say that the words/actions of a dying man would be the most important thing that he wishes to communicate. Perhaps, the Lord too, has much to reveal to me through the Stations. But alas, I gave in to temptation. Yes, if I could, I would definitely give up anything to turn back the hands of time. I would have persevere (even if I had to risk running a fever) so that I could participate in the event. Perhaps this is how the 3 apostles must have felt too. Perhaps they too, have had a long day. They too, must have experienced disappointment, guilt and shame upon later introspection of their actions.

I've come across this passage many times. The first impression is to judge the 3 apostles as lazy, weak and that I can do a better job. But this experience has taught me to seek understanding first. Afterall, this is what I am really seeking when I try to give reasons/make excuses. What makes a regret bearable is the understanding of the other party. This is definitely a job that Jesus does best. He transforms regrets to determinations. Perhaps this is what gave courage to the good thief who dared ask for Paradise with Jesus.

"I look at Jesus. He looked at me and He understood." ~ The Good Thief

Create in me a clean heart, O God,and put a new and right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence,and take not thy holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of thy salvation,and uphold me with a willing spirit. Then I will teach transgressors thy ways,and sinners will return to thee.

~ Ps 51 : 10 - 13