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My dad often questioned me about my ministry in church. His questions range from “Why are you always spending time in church?”, “Why don’t you get yourself a girlfriend?”, “Why are you leading the young ones in church?”, “What can they give you back in return?” to comments such as “You should try to network/build your social circle rather than mixing with the young ones”.
Looking back, I often laugh to myself at his questions. I think there’s so much (worldly) truth in them. I can see where these questions came from – the heart of a VERY concerned father looking at his aging bachelor son.
The ultimate question is “what’s really in it for me, at the end of the day?” The answer is really nothing. I only do what I feel called to do. And because I believe in this mission, I must continue in this journey. IF I cease to contribute in leading & guiding the young ones, who will be there to form them? They are our future, the pillars of the church to whom we are counting on. We are going to pass our 2000yrs of tradition, heritage & legacy to them. They must be prepared to handle & lead the church into another millennium.
Yet, from the bottom of my heart, I also knew that my father is right. In every sense of his worldly standard, I’m not going to profit anything out of this. My time could have been more effectively used. But I take heart to know that I share my plight with our Lord Jesus. Did He know what’s “in it” for Him when He began His ministry? How about His cross? His passion & death? Even as God, He was also fully human. He was probably discovering His identity as He journeyed on in life.
It was perhaps this sense of “cluelessness” & “resignation in His Father” that made Him truly God. It was His ability to hold fast His faith in His Father, His enduring love that pulled Him through every nail & blow that struck Him. And it is because of His great example that I take delight to share with all of you that I truly have no answer to my dad’s questions. Are all the efforts, time & sacrifcies that's been put in, pay off one day? It is this “I don’t know” that gives me hope that I could be one inch closer to imitating Christ, in becoming God. That I may one day live this possible hope that He will be in me & I, in Him. That perhaps in our sense of helplessness & cluelessness, we could still contribute to humanity in the best we could. That our loving Father could turn my “drop in the ocean” efforts for His kingdom building. I’m only grateful that I was invited to participate in this mysterious redeeming efforts of Christ. Amen.
Looking back, I often laugh to myself at his questions. I think there’s so much (worldly) truth in them. I can see where these questions came from – the heart of a VERY concerned father looking at his aging bachelor son.
The ultimate question is “what’s really in it for me, at the end of the day?” The answer is really nothing. I only do what I feel called to do. And because I believe in this mission, I must continue in this journey. IF I cease to contribute in leading & guiding the young ones, who will be there to form them? They are our future, the pillars of the church to whom we are counting on. We are going to pass our 2000yrs of tradition, heritage & legacy to them. They must be prepared to handle & lead the church into another millennium.
Yet, from the bottom of my heart, I also knew that my father is right. In every sense of his worldly standard, I’m not going to profit anything out of this. My time could have been more effectively used. But I take heart to know that I share my plight with our Lord Jesus. Did He know what’s “in it” for Him when He began His ministry? How about His cross? His passion & death? Even as God, He was also fully human. He was probably discovering His identity as He journeyed on in life.
It was perhaps this sense of “cluelessness” & “resignation in His Father” that made Him truly God. It was His ability to hold fast His faith in His Father, His enduring love that pulled Him through every nail & blow that struck Him. And it is because of His great example that I take delight to share with all of you that I truly have no answer to my dad’s questions. Are all the efforts, time & sacrifcies that's been put in, pay off one day? It is this “I don’t know” that gives me hope that I could be one inch closer to imitating Christ, in becoming God. That I may one day live this possible hope that He will be in me & I, in Him. That perhaps in our sense of helplessness & cluelessness, we could still contribute to humanity in the best we could. That our loving Father could turn my “drop in the ocean” efforts for His kingdom building. I’m only grateful that I was invited to participate in this mysterious redeeming efforts of Christ. Amen.
"Do not hesitate to love and to love deeply...
The more you have loved and
Have allowed yourself to suffer because of your love,
The more you will be able to let your heart grow
Wider & deeper."
~ Henri Nouwen, The Inner Voice of Love
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