Living with Mystery

I was with a group of friends some months back, taking on yet another personality test to discover about myself (as if i haven't already know who i am!). Strangely, among the 5 different personality tests that i have taken in my lifetime, none has yet to capture my personality with 100% accuracy. But yes, they are good approximates - but they are at best, approximates. i wouldn't totally agree with the results. It is funny how these tests intrigued us as we try to discover something new about ourselves (oh please, who are you trying to kid!) and about others.

I was reminded by Sr. Christina that these tests could never be 100% accurate, as even we, can't say that we TOTALLY understand ourselves. And if we can never fully understand ourselves, how then can we say we totally understand God? At that moment, that truth suddenly hit me. But you see, as human beings, we are not brought up to live with "i dunnos". As little children, we were raised to question, to challenge and to find answers. Which is why even till today (as if our beings aren't complicated enough), we are still seeking to find answers if there are intelligent beings surviving there in outer space.

So, for once, i have learnt to be comfortable to say "i dunno". i need not try to fill in the great ocean into a small sand hole that i dig, by the beach (there is no way i will ever contain it!). I need to be honest to myself & admit that mystery is here to stay. That i am not only human being, but also divine being. I can't fully understand myself, just as i can't fully comprehend God. There's a little divine spark within each of us that allows mystery, and our Indescribable God to dwell within. How and when it happen? - "i dunno".

And by this equation & logic, the only surest way to know God, is when i fully know & accept myself for who i am. For then, we will come to accept this awesome truth in John 10 that "...As the Father knows me and I know the Father...(v10)", "I and the Father are one (v30)", "....that you may know and understand that the Father is in me and I am in the Father(v38)".

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts"
~ Isaiah 55:8-9