Attachment

I was dragging my luggage the other day while waiting for the lift in KL Airport to come. To my horror, I discovered that the handle of my luggage was broken! What a way to start my business trip in KL.

As I took the cab to my hotel, I was wondering what I should do with this luggage. The practical & logical thought that came to my mind is to get a new luggage & throw this old one away. After all, it has served me well. It has been with me for the past 2 yrs or so. Perhaps it is time for a replacement. And yet, there is another part of me that was reluctant to let it go. And there are a few reasons behind it. For a start, it was a gift given to me by my ex-colleagues. So, it has sentimental reasons. Second, I’m quite a cheapo who try not to waste money getting another bag. Perhaps there’s still hope to salvage it (though it would honestly take a miracle!) But I think the main reason is really this. Somehow, somewhere, before I even know it, this luggage has creep into my life and become a part of it. In every short business trip that I went, it has accompanied me. Or perhaps more accurately, I should say it’s about ME being too comfortable with the familiar. A sudden “interruption” has upset my equilibrium.

And I realized that the luggage is but one of the many other “things” in my life which I’m attached to. My house, my family & friends, my job…the list is endless. Among the most difficult thing to let go is probably my family which I have grown so attached to, esp. with my new nephew & niece. Over these 2 yrs, they have definitely climbed up the chart to be in the top 3 “most important things in my life”. It is strange how my priorities & attachment have also changed over the years without my knowing. Then, there are attachments which are not necessary always good to keep. There are those which I can’t wait to get rid of but have simply refused to leave, or rather difficult for me to let go – my bad habits. Just today, in prayer, I realized that my bad habit of gossiping has creep back. Just half a yr ago, I recalled being fully aware of this bad habit and was taking steps to prevent it from being a part of my life, especially in my workplace. Initially, it was difficult to get rid of but it was definitely possible once you become more conscious of it. Recently, I’ve given in to gossip (which end up being frequent conversation topics) when I join my colleagues for meals. Sometimes, it is almost essential to survival as you uncover the latest happening in the office, as you try to find common topics to chat during lunches. But on further reflection, perhaps they are only excuses to a habit that I can’t get rid of. What is most frightening to me is that I didn’t even detect it when it came creeping back into my life & began its own organic growth! It has become 2nd nature to me that I didn’t even feel that I have done anything wrong.

Well, thank God for lent. I really needed this time once again to sort out my attachments.
a) those healthy possessions which I need to cultivate and turn them into top priorities in my life
b) those false possessions that hinder me from loving God (i.e. those that I may think are important but are really what I should learn to let go) &
c) the healthy & unhealthy habits that I must be aware (esp. those that have creeped into my life)

“Man is created to praise, reverence, and serve God our Lord, and by this means to save his soul. The other things on the face of the earth are created for man to help him in attaining the end for which he is created. Hence man is to make use of them as far as they help him in the attainment of his end, and he must rid himself of them in as far as they prove a hindrance to him.”
~ First Principle & Foundation (Ignatian Spiritual Exercise)